“Forgive me Father for I have sinned,” said the man in the confessional.

“What is it, my son?” came the reply.

“Well, last week I went round to my girlfriend’s flat but she wasn’t in. The only person there was her flat mate and we ended up having sex.”

“Oh dear,” replied the priest.

“And then a couple of days later, I popped round to my mate’s house but he’d gone down the pub. The only person there was his wife and we ended up having sex.”

“Oh dear,” remarked the priest again.

The man continued “So then last night, I went into the local pub and it was empty. Everyone had gone to watch the darts team playing away. There was only Mandy serving behind the bar so we ended up having sex. What shall I do?”

But there was no answer from the other side of the screen.

“Father, are you there?” demanded the man. No answer came, so he began looking for the priest and eventually found him hiding in the pews.

“What are you doing there?” he exclaimed.

“Well, I suddenly realised that you and I were alone together,” replied the priest.

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